Tuesday, September 29, 2009

A Post Out of Hunger

Wiping on the second boss of Heroic Violet Hold for the fourth time is a good indicator that you're in a terrible PUG. It's times like these when I start flailing around and eat anything my grubby hands can find.

Lo and behold, the only things I found edible were last night's Cheetos' crumbs and the receipt from Gamestop. Crestfallen, I do the next best thing -- browse good ol' This is why you're fat.

Ah yes, the site that is a painful reminder of why America is America. Don't get me wrong; what they have there are all gastronomical masterpieces. Today, this caught my feeding fancy:

Meet the Widowmaker

1.5 lbs of ground beef, 1 package of bacon, 1 package of italian sausage, 1 box of hot pockets, 1/2 package of fried onion strips between 2 Tombstone Pepperoni Pizzas topped with Velveta Cheese and Marinara Sauce.
I can just imagine how many widows this monstrosity has made. I for one would love to try it out.

Maybe my next HvH wouldn't go so bad if I had something like that fueling me. It's like food on steroids.

With steroids ON steroids.

Meanwhile, let's all whine and QQ because today's a maintenance day. Cheerio!

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Friday, September 25, 2009

Wowing the WoW Girls Part 3

Hola amigos! If you have been following my WoW Girls tribute, then you know that this is the third and last part. And if you haven’t, then you better read up. You might learn a thing or two from my potentially foolproof dating tips.

Now you might be wondering…After Jaina and Alexstrasza, who’s next?

To wrap up the series, I am going for the one and only Sylvanas Windrunner, the Dark Lady herself.

If she were to be classified using real world stereotypes, she would most likely be lumped in the goth/emo girl category. Yes, the haunting red eyes, ghostly pale complexion and expertise in black magic may have helped. But underneath that exterior lies a heart burning with the fire of vengeance.

Just a little background, Sylvanas was a former high elf who transformed into an undead banshee under the hands of the enemy. The lost, tortured soul persona is not a façade. Sylvanas is the real deal.

So why her? Obviously, this is one ballsy pursuit but I’m not one to back out on a challenge (especially since all this is just a figment of my imagination). Actually, it may have something to do with the human fascination of the undead. But I believe that regardless, she has a dangerously sexy edge that leaves me begging for more.

I do think the girl needs to let loose though. You know, just have a genuine fun time─no killing involved. And what better way to break the ice and shake off the tension by bringing her to an outdoor rock concert?

A music festival date, anywhere from Lollapalooza to the Glasto, is perfection. She doesn’t even have to change clothes. The skimpier, the better is the general rule. In between sets we’d tour around the stalls, get inked (henna, of course) and chill with some ice cream.

The night wouldn’t be complete without me breaking into song once more. Incubus’ Echo might just be the trick to melt her blackened heart.

Dang it! Do I need a real date or what?

[Image taken from http://www.wowwiki.com/File:Lament_of_the_Highborne.jpg]

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wily Wednesdays: Have you done Onyxia?

No, not that way. What I mean to ask is 'have you tried the new Onyxia raid?' Well, the Pigs tried her tonight. Suffice to say, we got burninated. Toasted. Barbecued. Fricasseed.

Well done.

Oh, the memories are coming back. Tail Sweeps, Deep Breaths, frequent wipes - I got a taste of it once again. Maybe if the pigs consulted WoW.com's Onyxia guide, we wouldn't have coated Onyxia's floor with our piled corpses.

It was a very enjoyable fight, though. Props to Blizzard for bringing back the black dragon love.

How have you been doing, dudes? Let us know in the comments!

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Broodmother Returns - Onyxia's Back, Baby!

Dude, have you heard? Good ol' Blizz surprised some of us today with the rollout of WoW Patch 3.2.2 and it's all awesome and stuff here at WoW Gold Pig.

I remember back in the day when Onyxia was a big deal back in vanilla WoW. Hoo boy, was she a fearsome boss. If you were part of an old Onyxia raid, you'd know how frantic it was just to get a group going and actually have them know the encounter.

You have to know where the melee should position themselves, where the tank should be, where the healers... y'know what? I'll just let this guy explain it to ya.

More DoTs! More DoTs! Always a fun watch. Oh, and I know that's technically not Onyxia in the pic above, it's Onyxia disguised as Lady Katrana Prestor. But c'mon, I think she's hot.

For a black dragon who wants to eat your guts and deep breath you into oblivion.

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Thursday, September 17, 2009

Meat Your Match, Chocolate!

Whenever us porkers get together for a WoW session, we also get ready to chow down. Well duh, that’s what pigs do.

But seriously, we do have piles of junk food stashed (chips, salsa, and Krispy Kremes are a staple) and I sneak a bite every now and then, perhaps more often than I should the others.

I’m a pretty adventurous eater with a taste for the unexpected so it wasn’t long ‘til I found about the existence of these one-of-a-kind venison chocolate truffles on the net. Venison, really? If you’re not sure what that is, it’s deer meat. Yep, deer.

The brainchild of New Zealand’s famed chocolatier Hanna Frederick, these mini sausage-shaped treats are an admittedly odd blend of dark chocolate and ground-up salty dried meat. Sounds like dinner and dessert in one, though of course, way less filling and calorie-consuming. Dude, where’s the fun in that???

On a side note, could this be every meat lover AND chocoholic’s dream? Maybe. But if you like the flavor of bittersweet chocolate and the aftertaste of salami, then this one’s for you.

[Image taken from http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/food-wine/2871640/Meat-flavoured-chocs-weird-but-delicious]

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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Wowing the WoW Girls Part 2

As promised, here is the 2nd part of the series. As you might have probably guessed, it took some time for me to select which of the lovely ladies at WoW I’d be worshipping this week. So the rest of the piggies here lent me their hands, err, feet.

Contrary to popular belief, pigs are actually smart. (Babe, anyone?) And our WoW girl choice for this entry reflects just that.


Behold Alexstrasza the Life-Binder. The Dragonqueen. Queen Of Life. She Who Is Life. Dayum!

She may be a thousand-year old dragoness (though she certainly doesn’t look the part), but I’d still hit it. Ahh the allure of the older woman.

With her fiery auburn crowning glory, barely there outfit and glowing golden eyes, I initially didn’t expect her to be this caring, motherly figure. She is very compassionate for a woman of power. If I may say so, the girl’s like a saint crossed with a modern day hippie. Except neither are as appealing.

What’s more, this blazin’ hot momma’s got lady lumps and curves that put Monica Bellucci to shame. And that’s definitely sayin’ something.

So for our first date, I was thinking candlelight dinner on the beach. The peaceful and relaxed atmosphere will make her feel right at home. See, I’ve always been a gentleman but I gotta up my game here. How? By pampering her senseless. Okay, that didn’t sound quite gentlemanly but you get my drift.

After dinner, we’ll have a nice romantic walk, stargaze a little and then head back for a mighty sensual spa session. I’d even spring for her manicure, pedicure and all those typical girly things. Sweet.

And to top it all off, I’ll be serenading her with Snow Patrol’s Signal Fire. “The perfect words never crossed my mind 'cause there was nothing in there but you…”

Yeah, I should stop before I get too carried away. Last part coming soon!

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Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye West is Heartless

Dude, did you see that stunt Kanye pulled at the VMAs?

Douchebag of the millennium, hands down.

Granted he is an egotistical, attention whoring jackass, it was all still pretty much uncalled for. Gotta show respect, brotha!

Heck, ya don’t even respect the President himself!

And some manners. Even us self-confessed pigs know a thing or two about showing a lady some respect. Speaking of which, watch out for the 2nd part of my Wowing the WoW girls series.

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Sandwich of the Future

Yes, America. The Sandwich of the Future has arrived. Our friends at KFC decided they would take a break from the healthier alternative route they’ve been experimenting on and stay true to their fast food roots. Thus, the no bread, two of everything sandwich. They sure outdid themselves with this one. Kudos!

Without further ado, feast your eyes on this monster of all monster burgers.

Now the Double Down may not be Top Chef-worthy and initial reactions have generally ranged from “disgusting” to “Why would anyone put this into their body?” but at the end of the day, who cares? When I have to pig out, oh I freakin’ go all out.

I don’t know about you but it looks muy delicioso to me. Just look at that baby. You got mouthwatering strips of bacon, Pepper Jack cheese, Swiss cheese, Colonel’s Sauce and two original recipe chicken fillets to seal the cholesterol-laden deal.

The question now is: Will they come in extra crispy?

[Image taken from http://www.foodgeekery.com/reviews/double-down-with-kfc/]

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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Wowing the WoW Girls Part 1

Excuse me for the lack of a better title. I’ve been single for the past couple of months and surprise surprise, I haven’t exactly been playing the field. I’m not ready to get back into the dating scene just yet and no, this has nothing to do with my bruised ego or my rusty ladykiller skills.

I’ve just decided that dating someone in real life is pretty complicated. So allow me to indulge in my g-rated fantasies for a while. Hey, dudes can dream too. Shut up and just go with me on this one.

This will be the first part of a three-part series which also serves as a tribute of sorts to my favorite mind-blowing mamacitas in WoW.

First up, Jaina Proudmoore. AKA the girl with the noble last name. She may look like the girl next door but I’m telling you, she is the total embodiment of smexy. Girl’s got beauty, brains and uhh…a whole lot of other Bs.

Now let’s see, where should I take her out on a date?

For an educated blonde sophisticate like Jaina, a tour around the MET would be awesome. Nothing says culture and class than a museum date. We’ll be coasting along various art collections like the Arms and Armor department and the Costume Institute. Yep, that should take out the stuffiness. We’ll also have lunch at the MET steps to make things a little more casual.

And now for the one-track soundtrack. Not to be pretentious or anything but I consider myself a pretty decent singer. So what if my only exposure was on the karaoke stage during a major booze fest with my frat buddies? I got some serious pipes, man. By the end of the night, she’ll be beyond smitten by my rendition of Before It’s Too Late by the Goo Goo Dolls.

Or I could end up a roasted pig after she fancies casting a fireball on me. I’m also fine with that.

Stay tuned for the other two parts, piggies!

[Image taken from http://cocoasweety.deviantart.com/art/Jaina-Proudmoore-62189924]

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Thursday, September 3, 2009

New Pigs On The Block!

Hey whaddaya know? We've got a brand-spankin' new recruit on board. WoW Gold Pig is always on the lookout for the best and brightest talent, and we've caught ourselves a pretty darn good guy to help me man the blog.

Provided that we're not your ordinary company, we don't opt for boring welcome speeches and introductions - instead, we had him dress up in a monkey suit and strapped him down in a WoW Pod.

Yes, we have one. A rudimentary one at best; made up of cardboard boxes and the souls of the restless (i.e. glue)

What's the next logical step? Ambush interview of course! Huzzah!

Porkies and gentleboars, please welcome our new blogger, Brad!

WGP: Howdy! Tell us how you got a job with the piggies here at WoW Gold Pig.
Brad: Simple. I'm a guy who likes games and girls. I knew you piggies just had to take me in.

WGP: Do you play World of Warcraft? What do you think of WoW?
Brad: Yeah, noob and proud of it! The chicks are hot bro. That's all I can say for now. Oh and Jaina Proudmoore, marry meeeeeeeee.

WGP: Hey! Stay away from Jaina, she's mine! Anyway, we all like bacon here. How do you like yours?
Brad: Toasted and crisp. I also like it when its smell gets my lazy ass out of bed in the morning.

WGP: Just the way I like it. How do you like the blog so far?
Brad: Dude, it's so much fun. Plus, Pigasus is cute. But I think I'm cuter. No, I am. Just ask the ladies.

WGP: Well I'm not the one in the monkey suit now, Brad. Moving along, The WoW Gold Pig blog is pretty guy-centric. What can we expect from your future posts?
Brad: Rants, raves, ramblings...It's gonna be pigtastic, fo sho.

WGP: Word. Lastly: Ever feel like you’re really a half-orc, half-ogre just waiting to smash things with swords and magic sometimes?
Brad: Sure. I've never attempted to smash anything though. Guess you could say I'm the most peaceful pig in the pen.

Pssh. You're no fun. But hey, welcome aboard! Look forward to Brad's posts in future, piggies. It's gonna be a whole lot wackier 'round here.

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

World of ColbertCraft

Video time!

When it's TV time at WoW Gold Pig HQ, it's a safe bet that we're tuned in to the following; House - because sarcasm is the cure for all diseases, Heroes - Pigasus is proof that pigs can fly like Peter Petrelli, True Blood - Anna Paquin makes me feel tingly in my dingly and The Colbert Report.

Instead of explaining, I'll just let you find out why:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Stephen Colbert's World of ColbertCraft
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorHealth Care Protests