Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Battle of the Bacon (and the Bulge)

I don’t know about you porkers but when it comes to patch 3.3.3., I am not a happy camper. Since downloading it, I’ve encountered issues with bugs, add-on screw-ups, getting DC’ed in 25-mans (and sometimes even 10-mans, ffs). So yeah, like I said. Happy isn’t the best word to describe me right now. Maybe hopeful. Actually, make that hungry.

When I’m stressed, I eat. That’s just the way it’s always been for me, dude. Some people go by the saying “Eat to live, not live to eat” but I say SCREW THAT.

Since last week, I’ve been driving by Wendy’s on the way home, successfully getting my burger fix after a long day at work and before a presumably stressful raid. I’ve made it my goal to sample every single menu item that’s been graced by the presence of bacon. I’m on to you, other fast food restaurants.

Now don’t think all that grease went to waste. In fact, all that gorging has lead me to create WoW Gold Pig’s first ever food face-off. LET’S GET READY TO RUMBAAAAAALLLL!!!

To start off, we have

Calorie Count: 830

Total Fat: 51 g

Ingredients: Premium bun, 2 beef burger patties, ketchup, mayonnaise, 2 slices of American cheese, 6 strips of Applewood smoked bacon

Clogging Arteries Since: 2007

For the challenge’s contender, we have

Calorie Count: 680

Total Fat: 40 g

Ingredients: Premium bun, beef burger patty, tomatoes, lettuce, 4 strips of Applewood smoked bacon, steakhouse sauce, onions, dill pickles, ketchup, mustard, American cheese slice, real blue cheese crumbles

Clogging Arteries Since: 2010

Now let’s see how these babies score on WoW Gold Pig’s made up official criteria:

Mess Maker Master: Bacon and Blue. It’s mainly the blue cheese crumbles. Not advisable to eat on the car or the couch, unless you have a thing for munching on food that’s been preserved in the depths of old leather furniture
Machismo Appeal: The Baconator, hands down. With its exclusion of veggies, it is unapologetically badass. And yes, it’ll be back.
Resistance to Dog Attack: Bacon and Blue. Nothing fancy for my carnivore canine, who likes eating the same things. Like his poop. There’s no way I can eat my Baconator in peace when the tailchaser’s around.
Stomach Friendliness: Baconator for this one. Though I’ve never had issues after eating the Bacon and Blue, with far more ingredients it might not mix well with other foods in the future.

ARGH! You know what? Forget it. Seriously. There’s no way these two can go head to head! They’re both so good and I’m very very easy to please. Oh well, can’t say I didn’t try.

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