Thursday, April 1, 2010

It's That Time of the Year Again

I’m through with WoW. What's the point when you win Wintergrasp all day? So I’m looking for a suitable heir willing to take all the Gold in my account—all 215,000 of it!

In today’s economy, that amount of Gold can buy at least 20 pieces of epic crafted ilvl 264 gear. It can even push a main and an alt to ICC-readiness.

But I don't believe in hand-outs, dudes, so those who want a crack at my Gold will have to work very hard for it. And I’m not just talking about Halls of Reflection heroic hard. I’m talking “take down that frakkinKraken with your bare teeth” hard. (Been watching too much Clash of the Titans trailers for sure).

Just complete the three tasks below to get the sweet sweet bacon. But before I describe each, lemme lay out some ground rules.

Ground rules
1. Get a screen shot when each task is done to the detail.
2. Don’t even think about using Photoshop because we have a bull detector.
3. Post all three screenshots at the comments section of this post.
4. Deadline is one week from the date of this posting.
5. You have to receive all 215,000 Gold in one account or we send the prize to the next eligible winner.

OK, now onto the real heroics:

Task 1: Fly Invincible 40 yards above the tallest building of any faction capital.
It might be hard to get Arthas’ whipping horse, but then again don't you have extra help already with ICC buffs now raised to 10%.

A certain Paragon over the Atlantic has been parading Invincible in Orgrimmar, so it’s not THAT impossible.

Task 2: Smashin' poledancin'
So you’ve managed to tame one of the most elite mounts in game. That’s some skill you have there. Now this second task will test your dexterity and anatomy knowledge.

While completely smashed, stand on a lamppost and /dance. Sounds easy enough right? Well it gets trickier since you must capture a particular pose close to my heart—I won’t spoil the race that does it since it’s easy enough to make a level 1 alt on both sides—but here's the money shot I'm looking for:

Task 3: Smokey Battleground Shout Outs
You've proven yourself a fine raider and tasteful photographer, what can I say, so you’re 2/3 of the way to being worthy of my Gold. But here’s the toughest challenge yet--and I drew this up from my love of Arathi Basin.

Get some white smoke flares and create an overhead message at the Blacksmith node that says: “The PIG pawns at battlegrounds." Spell the message out in capital letters and /say "oink" at the middle. Here's a simple example:

You need a lot of WoW skills to pull off this third task. Master the art of making friends so they can help lay out the flares and clear out the opposing trash who want to ruin your shot. You'll also have to level up engineering to produce tons of flares or play the auction house to get 'em cheap.

So there you have it. Three tasks for 215,000 Gold. Not bad at all if you need a nest egg for Cataclysm. Just don't be a fool--ask for advice in trade.

Tick, tock, do you know what date it is? Send those screenies fast! ;D

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