Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Is It Stanky In Here Or What?

Last week, Blizzard opened the new Plagueworks section of the Icecrown Citadel and boy are the new bosses nasty. The foul trio of Festergut, Rotface and Professor Putricide attack the olfactory with BO-based bombs that have left raids retching, if not wiping, altogether.

The Festergut fight even brought back memories of high school when I sat behind the class slob and his gassy stomach. The horror, oh the horror…

Rotface, meanwhile, is a lesson in proper hygiene. Dump the smaller slimes into one big pile so there’s space for movement. Sounds familiar? That’s because if you replace “slimes” with “clothes”, this is the same housekeeping rule all gamer moms want their children to learn, including me.

(I’ll clean up when you visit, mom, I swear on my WoW Gold!)

And don't get me started on Professor Putricide. Slime, gas, and abominations everywhere!


All the pre-raid talk on odor abilities led our group to a hilarious debate on which of the race-class combo can tank Plagueworks the longest without fainting.

My hombres get into this role-playing vibe sometimes (as seen in our latest Winter Veil exploits), so it wasn’t surprising we ended up taking sides between an undead warrior and a gnome death knight for best Plagueworks tank.

Some argued that an undead warrior grew up to the smell of graveyards and wears rotting flesh cologne, so the noxious gases should pose no threat. His emergency abilities of Shockwave and Whirlwind also give some breathing space when things literally get too stuffy.

For a gnome death knight, the approach is a little different: smell avoidance. As one friend put it, “During a fire the smoke rises but oxygen stays at the bottom of the room. So a gnome death knight can easily sniff the fresh air below!” Death knights will likely have improved resilience against nasty spells as well because of similar runic abilities like Plague Strike and Pestilence.

The debate raged for a good half hour or so. But I decided to make things a little wackier. “What about a Pig paladin?”

Tank, Pig, Tank!

A Pig paladin would have the quintessential Bubble-cum-oxygen tank and Purify spell for cleansing diseases. The enlarged snout racial passive also gives bonus resistance against strangulation effects.

Move over Belfs! There's so much of these wispy-haired paladins running around. Time to consecrate some Pigs into the order, I say.

Most of the group agreed that a Pig paladin might just beat out the other two contenders, with the proper spec and gear. But most already had enough in their hands reconciling how cows can become paladins when Cataclysm hits this year, so a pig paladin tank might be plausible only in WoW 2.0 (along with the Pandas and Nagas).

So how have you been preparing for Plagueworks, porkers? Searching through giant poop in Azshara and Hellfire Peninsula to psyche yourself up? Or have you been practicing the inoculation dance? Drop your two Golds in the matter. :D

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