The Next Best Pig Out

Christmas Eve is just several days away, but can't you just smell it--the slow-roasting ham, buttered taters, and choco chip cookies. *Wipes drool off keyboard*

I'm at the parental units--AKA the land of pigging out--and unlike Leonard, mama's taking good care of her baby boy with her cured meats. But for some of you porkers, stuffing one's face silly isn't really an option.

Especially when the gf has threatened to turn Alliance if you even look at the buffet table. So here's how to play WoW while staving off the overeating banhammer in real life.

First off, run through Dalaran to grab a dozen or so Half Full Dalaran Glass Wines. The cheese shop and bar will have plenty at their tables. Then, use these to toast with fine bubbly: such as a Glass of Aged Dalaran Red or the rare Glass of Peaked Dalaran

Once you've got the buzz, hop on over to Greatfather Winter and sip his Greatfather's Winter Ale. Gnomes will strictly drink Winter Veil Egg Nog instead, just because there are no elves to pick on. (Would-be Goblin rollers be forewarned!)

Now on to the main course. Grab a bucket of Red Hot Wings and Beer Baster Boar Ribs while watching noobs fall over themselves collecting the free gifts. Once that bores you--or the grilled goodies run out--get in on the gift-opening action. There's a Winter Veil Roast waiting for your efforts.

For dessert, the Winter Veil Cookies will crave any sweet tooth. Or if you're feeling giddy inside, pack them inside mooncloth bags and send off to low-level guildies. Just think of it as a way of giving back to the WoW community that has fattened our lives in more ways than our waists.

It's the next best pig out. Really.

Oh who am I kidding. Munch on those mincemeat pies and smile like a greench!

Greench. The look of sastisfaction after sinning with booze, sugar, and cholesterol.

Happy eating, porkers!