There's Always Next Year

/cry

That’s what I kept telling myself since last Saturday, the day I missed out on THIS:



Now if you don’t know what that is, you’ll make me even sadder. And fatter. I’ve been binge-eating myself throughout this coping process with inhuman amounts of my all-time favorite cured meat.

It’s the only way I can think of to compensate for my missing the annual Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival in Iowa this year. More than 1000 pounds of bacon were prepared, highlights of which were the chocolate chunk bacon cookies and the obligatory bacon-eating contest, for 2010’s “A Bacon Odyssey – One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Bacon.”

Even the title tears me up. I would’ve walked a thousand steps just to be where the party’s at! No, further! Yeah bacon, ‘cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles if I could just see you…

But alas, the tickets sold out on me. Tried entering the contests to win free tickets but no luck with that either.

I’m way bummed that I didn’t get to be part of the whole bacon explosion. I really am. I would have distracted myself with WoW but TBH, I’m too bloated to even function.

Now, excuse me while I help (help? no, not really) myself to another bacon cheese turtleburger.