Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Wanted: Housing for Hunted Hogs

My bacon-fattened heart took quite a beating when Blizzard tweeted its dim prospects for guild housing in the upcoming Cataclysm expansion and beyond:
Player: Do you still have plans to implement guild housing?
Blizzard: Guild housing isn't a priority. Aside from the huge development involved it gets people out of cities and into these private areas other players can't see. We like cities to feel populated. But I'm not sure anyone expected WoW to be going as strong as it is after five years, so who knows in the future.
This morsel of news saddened me since I've always wanted to create a guild called Safehouse SLOP aka "Safehouse for the Scavenging, Loitering and Overhunted Piggies of Azeroth".

It's a craptastic name I know, but it sums up the main objective: Save the piggies, save the world!

Before the Final Blow. Ever wondered the cruelty of cleaving for porkchops?

While other guilds obsess about world first kills or topping arena seasons, Safehouse SLOP will save our boar brethren from being slaughtered for cheap WoW Gold rewards. Alliance human toons in Elwynn Forest and Redridge Mountains should remember gutting poor Princess and Bellygrub for (gasp) eating farmer crops? Their swine appetite must be evil!

Orcs and trolls starting out in the Barrens, meanwhile, gank the pen-kept pigs like a bunch of squealing target dummies.

But with guild housing in the outskirts of capital cities, Safehouse SLOP can establish an HQ for fund raising and propaganda. My buddies say it's stupid to save virtual boars who respawn anyway after a couple of minutes. I point out though: If there's a movement to save ugly murlocs, surely the pigs deserve some love too.

Extinction Escape? There's no contest who should receive a stay of execution.

WoW may not be convinced that guild housing can serve as a nice counterbalance--and sanity break--to raiding. But I think of the possibilities: private dancing parties, guild "drama" retreats, and wild belf sorority sleepovers... or cheerleading practice (slightly NSFW).

I secretly wish for Aion and Final Fantasy XIV to come out with kick-ass player housing to keep Blizzard on its toes. If I've learned anything playing WoW, it's that players get what they want when there's massive QQing that another game has this or that feature. Surely, angels and elves basking in their own bungalows would bring out the nerdrage soon enough. :P

Labels: , , , , , ,


Post a Comment

Tell the pig what you think.

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home