Saturday, January 23, 2010

Bite Me, Twilight

Yeah bite me, bite me
I'm a crimson apple
Crunchy, tasty
Why don't we go dabble?
Right there, porkers, might just be the next hit single from Lady Gaga. Strange things happen while reading boss tactics, and this gem of a chorus popped in my head while studying the Crimson Hall run against the vampiric San'layn.

There I was minding my own business in windowed Lagaran mode when guild chat discusses the Vampiric Bite ability of Blood Queen Lana'thel and how sweet it would be to watch an all-girl belf guild wipe after sucking each other's necks dry.

Raid Party Sampler. You'll go mad with one taste from her.

For those too busy to Wiki, Vampiric Bite gives a damage buff to a victim and requires him or her to bite another toon every minute or else succumb to an Uncontrollable Frenzy. I added the obvious that our top DPS should seek out the dangerous buff since they'd maximize its use, especially when  most accounts say the fight has a sadistic enrage timer for DPS to beat.

Though, all this planning assumed we can get past the Blood Prince Council:

Return of the Fallen. Undead belfs Keleseth, Valanar and Taldaram will deliver pain with their balls (yeah, just watch the vids).

Now these three could stay dead for all I care, but Arthas likes his undead toys (see: Sylvanas), so whatever. It just bothers me that these belfs have somehow brought out the Twilight fanatics from their cuckoo's nest, calling WoW a douche for riding on the coattails of their beloved vampire franchise.

Hate to break it you girls, but there's just so much double standard surrounding that Edward dude. He's dreamy despite the eyebags, bedhead and basement skin? But avoid us like the plague after an expansion release all-nighter (so we missed one bath)? C'mon, that's just plain cruel.

Ah, Cataclsym, you can't come soon enough. Earthquakes and island life will be such a welcome break from the emo atmosphere in Northrend. Speaking of the cold, anyone else less excited for the Frostwing Halls against Valithria Dreamwalker and Sindragosa?

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