Tuesday, August 18, 2009

61 Things To Do At BlizzCon

Sweet honeysuckling bacon-covered deep-fried pork casseroles! BlizzCon 2009 is JUST. AROUND. THE CORNER! Ohmanohmanohmanohman. I just can't wait. Will Blizzard drop a news bomb on us? Will they announce Cataclysm? The rumored new IP? A Murloc PS3 game!? Ozzy Osbourne as a new playable character!?

This is just too much to bear. Better yet, this is too much to PIG.

Are you dudes heading over to BlizzCon this year? Well, pack your stuff and get ready because here are 61 things to do at BlizzCon:

1. Get Ghostcrawler's autograph
2. Gawk at the booth babes (mmm... booth babes)
3. Ask all Blizz employees about the "Additional Instances Cannot Be Launched" error. Be swiftly escorted off the premises afterwards.
4. Dance the napoleon dynamite with Mike Morhaime.
5. Meet up with your guildies.
6. Feast on the gourmet convention food.
7. Watch the Diablo III panel.
8. Complain about the RAINBOWS. Be swiftly escorted off the premises afterwards.
9. Zerg rush kekeke.
10. Have a nerdgasm over the Starcraft II panel.
11. Wait for the announcement of the new Blizzard MMO.
12. Find out that it's going to be Battlefield Earth Online.
13. Play the Failocalypse all weekend and reach the cow level (there is no cow level).
14. Attend the World of Warcraft panel.
15. Search for a mailbox. Dance the Napoleon Dynamite on said mailbox.
16. Play games!!!
17. Hang out with Chris Metzen.
18. Try the WoW TCG (if you haven't).
19. Take a candid picture of Sam Didier.
20. Shout "For the Alliance!" in a mostly-horde crowd. Be swiftly escorted off the premises afterwards.
21. Buy George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher a drink.
22. Count the Blood Elves in attendance.
23. Rock to the Ozzy concert!
24. Cry tears of joy at the announcement of the new expansion.
25. Post pictures of the freebies you get.
26. Look for gnomes to punt.
27. Buy all the murloc plushies at the store and re-sell them for a profit. Be swiftly escorted off the premises afterwards.
28. Watch the Elite Tauren Chieftains!
29. Get Ozzy Osbourne's autograph.
30. Meet up with the WoW.com peeps.
31. Take in the aroma of a few thousand sweaty gamers.
32. Search for the WoW Gold Pig crew! (hint: needle in a haystack)
33. Try out Diablo III's Witch Doctor.
34. Get a BlizzCon 2009 authenticator.
35. See the cast of The Guild.
36. Spazz in front of Felicia Day.
37. Tweet about everything that's happening every 5 seconds. Get the fail whale screen.
38. Wish yourself luck in the public restrooms.
39. Buy yourself a real Frostmourne.
40. Look out for Leeroy Jenkins. He's gotta be there.
41. Brag about your new Raynor Noob. Watch non-goers QQ.
42. Walk around the convention grounds till your feet burn.
43. Watch the awesome cinematics on the big screen.
44. Bring your QQ Noob tissues in case they nerf the Paladins AGAIN.
45. If you're a reasonably hot chick, paint yourself blue and get some horns. We dig dem Draenei females.
46. Alternatively, you can come in as Sylvanas Windrunner. Watch ensuing fanboygasm commence.
47. Wear a J1NX tshirt!
48. Scream your lungs out during the Ozzy gig. Pretend you're a Death Knight with your hoarse voice the day after.
49. Watch out for Chinese people who whisper sweet nothings in your ear; mostly coercing you to buy gold from them.
50. Complain about WoW login issues in real life. Let's see how that'll help.
51. Approach a stranger and ask them to join your group because you need 1m DPS and g2g.
52. Get your fill of Mtn Dew!
53. Post pics on Facebook!
54. Watch the Warcraft III and Starcraft competitions. Realize how terrible you are at those games and keep QQ Noob tissues handy.
55. Win a prize! We gave 500,000 gold to Chris a while back. Surely Blizz has something better.
56. Discuss PvP with the WoW PvP panel and get lost in all the jargon like mp5, rotations, etc.
57. Try out the World of Warcraft Minis by Upperdeck (those minis look really cool).
58. Before the convention starts, shout "YOU ARE NOT PREPARED" at the organizers. Be swiftly escorted off the premises afterwards.
59. Discover that the Tuskarr are modeled after Wilford Brimley.
60. Read "Twilight" or any trashy Stephenie Meyer book. Be swiftly escorted off the premises afterwards.

Seriously, this was supposed to be 101 Things To Do at BlizzCon but I got really hungry. Y'all know that pizzas come before anything else right?

Tell us about your BlizzCon experience next week!



Blogger Automaton said...

Woot cant wait for this, WotLK was alright, but this one looks like it may be the end! So it will surely be entertaining.

I have a trailer and a few articles at Thirty Fold's Addicted to World of Warcraft Blog.

I wonder really though if this will be the last expansion? :P

August 22, 2009 at 2:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think it would be. Level is still low. let the characters come to like level 150 or 255. More expansions to come. :D

September 5, 2009 at 10:16 PM  

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