Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Top 10 Signs You're A WoW Gold Pig

What's up, my bacon-loving compadres?

The Pigs are chilling, fresh from a Heroic Violet Hold run. That was intense! Good thing our tank was well-geared and we were putting up impressive DPS.

Peeps keep sending mail inquiring about our name. Why WoW Gold Pig, you ask? Why the oink not?

Pigs are great. They live large. They're smarter than dogs. And…they have a sensitive side…pathologically independent, stubborn, and territorial. Yeah! Sounds like a personal review of my guild mates!

They also make for tasty baby back ribs.

But to really answer the question…and because a mental “picture” is worth a thousand words…I’ve compiled a list of things that may indicate if you are truly a WoW Gold Pig. Without sounding too Letterman, here you go:

*trumpet and drum roll*

10. You make strange, pig-like noises in voice chat to call your group's attention.

9. You play 4 hours a day and you have more WoW Gold than Johnny Depp has girlfriends…(this comment is founded on envy, not fact…my apologies if he’s gotten married since I last read a cheap Hollywood review…hehe)

8. You think Taurens are hot. (Hint: They're cows, you pig!)

7. You visit just to click the logo and hear the porker oink. (Admit it.)

6. You don’t have a NYSE ticker tape…but you DO check the Pig’s price feed hourly

5. You gather a group in WoW and take on the Hogger mob every single day.

4. You treasure your Golden Pig vanity pet.

3. You insist that Billie Jean is not your child, but a half-pig Warlock who summons deranged rock stars.

2. You pig out on pizza more than 5 times a week…(there’s nothing not natural about eating pizza 20 times a month…think of it as hording)…it’s that you are starting to think the Indian dude delivery boy is lusting after your T6 gear so you now have your pizza delivered to your neighbor’s address…where you wait on the door step dressed up like an Alliance tart trying to enter Stormwind…

And the number 1 sign you're a WoW Gold Pig...

1. You have collected 100,000 signatures to make PIGS a playable class in the next Wow expansion! Oink!

There you have it. If you’re guilty of any of the above, let’s hope your Mom doesn’t surf. Stay tuned to the Pig and keep cool.

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